Embracing Optimism: Fuel for an Opportunity Mentality

Embracing Optimism: Fuel for an Opportunity Mentality

Sometimes, the hardest steps are the ones we take when we can’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. We hear people talk about the “light,” as if it’s a symbol of escape or the end of a challenge. But what if we’ve been thinking about it all wrong? What if the real purpose of the tunnel—the hard, messy parts of life—isn’t to escape, but to come out the other side with something we didn’t have before? What if the tunnel is where the real magic happens—not because it’s easy, but because it shapes who we’re becoming?

The truth is, progress doesn’t just happen to us; we have to choose it. And an opportunity mentality is the key to making the tunnel worth it.

Two Sides of an Opportunity Mentality

An opportunity mentality isn’t just about believing you can grow—it’s about fueling that belief with the right energy. And it works in two powerful ways:

1. Intention-Based Opportunity Mentality

This is where a purposeful perspective comes in. It’s stepping back, recognizing the opportunity in front of you, and choosing to approach it with intentionality. It’s like saying, “I see where this could take me, and I’m going to show up on purpose.”

2. Response-Based Opportunity Mentality

This is all about what happens in real time. When life throws something unexpected at you, it’s fueled by optimism—the belief that even this mess has something good to offer. It’s the ability to pivot and say, “I didn’t see that coming, but I’m going to make it count.”

Both sides are essential. One gets you ready; the other keeps you going when things don’t go as planned.

Purposeful Perspective: Finding the Opportunity

One of the best ways to embrace an opportunity mentality is to take a step back and ask yourself, What’s the opportunity here?

Let’s say you’ve been working on a project, but progress feels slow. You can let frustration win, or you can shift your perspective. Instead of focusing on how long it’s taking, focus on what it’s teaching you—patience, discipline, or attention to detail.

Purposeful perspective turns hard things into meaningful things. And when you know what you’re working toward, the effort starts to feel worth it.

We rarely learn meaningful lessons by accident. To truly grow, we need to approach each day with intention and reflection. Start with a desire to get something out of every experience, and at the end of the day, pause and ask, “What did I learn?” Intentional reflection turns even the smallest experience into fuel for progress. I know this can sound obvious, and it is easy to say, and hard to do. But if we never pause and write down the lessons we've learned, we are putting ourself in a position to have to relearn them again later.

One powerful way to apply a purposeful perspective in challenging situations is to reframe your mindset. Our brains are wired to solve problems. If we see an obstacle as a roadblock, our brain will start looking for ways to escape it. But what if, instead, we reframed the obstacle as an opportunity?

Think of a long run as an example. If your only goal is to exercise and it gets hard, your mind will start suggesting easier ways to get your workout in. But if your goal is to increase your endurance, then each aching step becomes proof that you’re growing. Your brain shifts from finding a way out to finding ways to push further. How you go into a situation changes how you experience it.

Optimism in Action: Reframing Challenges

Life doesn’t always go as planned—okay, it rarely does. That’s where optimism comes in. Optimism isn’t about pretending everything’s fine when it isn’t. It’s about trusting that something good can come from whatever’s in front of you.

Think about the last time something unexpected happened—maybe a missed deadline, a major setback, or a sudden shift in plans. How did you respond? Optimism challenges us to reframe those moments. Instead of seeing them as setbacks or failures, we ask, “What’s the opportunity here?” Optimism in the midst of challenge doesn’t ignore the hard parts; it shines a light on the way forward.

If you’re going to go through something difficult, make it worth it. Don’t just wait for the “lemonade” to appear; learn how to make the best lemonade anyone has ever tasted. That’s where optimism and an opportunity mentality come into play.

Optimism isn’t about pretending everything is perfect or denying that life can be tough. It’s about having hope—a steadfast belief that the future can be better than today. Optimism fuels action; it’s a decision to get up each day with the belief that something good can come from every experience.

When you believe that you can progress through any situation, the future isn’t just a hope—it’s a tangible place of opportunity. It’s not about waiting for circumstances to improve; it’s about knowing that what’s happening within you can make tomorrow better.

Not every situation can be changed, but you can change the way you experience it. Sometimes, a simple shift in focus can unlock growth you didn’t know was there. For instance, if you’re in a dull presentation, look beyond the content. Maybe the slides are well-designed, or the speaker has an interesting tone or timing technique. What can you learn that goes beyond the obvious? By actively choosing a fresh perspective, you leave with new skills instead of feeling like time was wasted.

With this mentality, you become unstoppable. You start saying, “Put me in any situation, and I’ll come out better.”Whether it’s a great day or a challenging one, you’re learning. This is the power of optimism paired with an opportunity mentality: you gain value from every single experience.

Choose Your Response

An opportunity mentality doesn’t depend on perfect circumstances. It thrives in the way we respond to the imperfections of life. When it’s snowing, will you complain, or see it as a chance to become a better driver? If a meeting is rescheduled, will you be annoyed, or embrace the opportunity to adapt?

Life is full of choices, and how we frame our situations can either make us feel burdened or empowered. Every challenging moment has the potential to become a unique strength—one that only you can cultivate and share with others. Think of it like a superhero refining their powers; maybe you don’t have webs shooting from your wrists, but you’ve got something just as valuable: your resilience, your insights, and your ability to help others.

Embracing optimism doesn’t mean ignoring hardship; it’s about recognizing that every experience has value. Michael Jordan once said, “I can’t lose. I win or I learn.” With an opportunity mentality, you can adopt that same outlook. There is no losing, only learning—unless you choose to forfeit your role as an active participant in the classroom of life.

So, believe in your ability to grow from every situation, and approach each day with optimism. The future is bright—not because of what happens around us, but because of what’s happening inside of us.

The Mirror of Priorities: Building a Life That Reflects What Matters.

Imagine your life as a house of mirrors. Everywhere you turn, you’re met with a reflection of your priorities—those deeply personal choices that have quietly charted the course to wherever you’re standing right now. Each reflection is a moment, a decision, a small choice that, together, reveals the life you’ve built. We all started from different places, faced unique circumstances, and encountered obstacles that were out of our control. Yet, it’s not so much what’s happened to us as it is how we’ve responded. That response has been an unspoken declaration of our priorities. It’s those small, consistent choices that add up, setting the compass on where we’re headed.

Some of us may feel proud of where we are, finding alignment between our intentions and where we’ve landed. Others may feel a disconnect, wondering if a few different choices might have painted a different picture—a life that feels truer to who we want to be. The beauty of life, though, is that time doesn’t stand still. The past may inform us, but it doesn’t define us. Our history is simply a lesson; our next step forward is the opportunity.

So, what will you do with today? What priorities will guide how you spend this precious rotation on the clock? Because here’s the thing: the best intentions mean nothing until they turn into action. At some point, we’ve all said, “I meant to talk to them about that…” or “I wanted to make time for that…” But the best intentions that stay in our mind, lead us to the same place as inaction. Even if we didn’t realize it, something else became the priority in that moment, becoming an accidental detour between our head and our hands.

Sometimes, priorities feel obvious, like a clear yes-or-no choice. Take the start of a roller coaster, for example: you can get on and pull down the lap bar, or you can get out of line. You’re either in or out—no middle ground. It’s in those moments, where our options are few and the choice feels binary, that we see our priorities most clearly. But other times, priorities feel more like a buffet: your plate can only hold so much, so you have to choose carefully. Life is full of these small but meaningful decisions, and each day offers a fresh chance to align those choices with what matters most.

This balancing act plays out in every part of our lives—our relationships, careers, even how we choose to spend our free time. Take relationships, for instance. In dating or friendships, we often find ourselves searching for someone who embodies an unlikely blend of qualities—someone spontaneous yet reliable, ambitious yet available. We want to find someone who seems to defy the ordinary. We create these unicorns in our mind, but the truth is, everyone’s plate is only so big. In this quest for an ideal contradiction, we’re forced to prioritize what qualities truly matter, understanding that even the best relationships are imperfect. Mosaics are beautiful, but they can only fit within the size of the window.

Priorities are the forks in the road of life, those places where our choices intersect. Just like following a map, there’s no freeway that takes us directly from point A to point B in life.  Instead, it’s a series of connected roads, turns, and decisions, each one brings us closer—or pulls us away—from the life we envision. These choices don’t just show up in the big-picture areas like relationships, finances, or careers; they’re everywhere, in the smallest, everyday actions too: how we spend a lunch break, what we say in a conversation, how we respond when someone needs our time or attention.

It’s important to realize that priorities aren’t just decisions about what seems to be the “right” thing to do; they’re choices acted out. They’re the tangible expressions of our values, seen in every action we take. What we prioritize regularly becomes the signature of our unique life. Have you ever met someone who is able to walk into a stressful, rushed atmosphere and has the unique ability to keep a calm and thoughtful pace? Their priorities acted out in real time have the power to transform a room. Sometimes, in the rush of life, we may not always choose what best aligns with our values. We fall back on habits or make the easy choice simply because we’re too busy to reflect. But when we slow down and take a moment to reflect, we gain the power to realign, to course-correct, steering each small decision closer to the life we truly want to live. When we live aligned with our priorities, we reinforce the things that we will be remembered by.

What’s the takeaway? Life is a series of thousands of daily choices, and let’s face it, we can’t prioritize everything. A perfectly prioritized life? Not the goal—and not even possible. We’re humans, not robots! So, the real question isn’t whether every choice is aligned, but rather: when you step back and think about what you truly want your life to stand for, do your priorities reflect that vision?

The opportunity to realign is always there, waiting for us in the next choice we make. The life we want to build and the legacy we will leave are shaped by the reflections we see today and the actions we take tomorrow.

Becoming the Next Version of You: A Journey Worth Taking

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about who we’re becoming. Not in a vague, “someday I’ll get there” kind of way, but in a real, roll-up-your-sleeves, get-it-done sense. It’s easy to get stuck in the routines of life, isn’t it? We scroll, we react, we fill our days with tasks that keep us busy—but do they move us toward who we really want to be?

Thomas Jefferson once said, “If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done.” And there’s some serious truth in there. We all have this hazy vision of who we could become: more courageous, more kind, or maybe someone who just feels more fully alive. But change doesn’t come from thinking about it or agreeing with the idea. Change is only change when we actually change.

Richard Branson’s got a good one too. He says, “If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity and you’re not sure you can do it, say yes—then learn how to do it later.” This is growth at its core! Recognize the opportunity, say yes, and become the person you need to be to make it happen. It’s saying yes to the adventure of life and then stretching yourself to fill in the gaps.

I had to ask myself a hard question recently: Who is the next version of me? What are his habits? How does he treat people? How does he spend his time? And the big one, what is he willing to let go of to become that person?

If you’re reading this and feeling stuck or uninspired, maybe that’s your cue. Maybe it’s time to do something that feels uncomfortable, something you’ve never done before. I know this because I recently found myself in that same place. I wrote in my journal, “Not a great sense of motivation, meaning, direction, or conviction in life at the moment. It must be time to do something hard.”

So, I decided to commit to an Ironman triathlon. Crazy, right? That’s 2.4 miles of swimming, 112 miles of biking, and then a marathon (yes, 26.2 miles) to finish. It’s daunting, exhausting, and honestly, it sounds awful. But here’s the thing... I’m not chasing the pain, the miles, or some shiny medal. I’m chasing the guy on the other side of that finish line. The one who knows what he’s capable of, who has grown through discomfort, who’s a little more alive than he was before. The early bike rides, the long, cold Denver runs, the life-rearranging training schedule—those are sacrifices, but they’re nowhere near the cost of staying the same as I am today.

That’s the choice we face, isn’t it? We can either choose discomfort today, and watch that investment grow into a better future. Or we can choose comfort today, and stay exactly where we are, paying the debt for that decision later.

What’s holding you back? It might not be something you need to add, but something you need to let go of. Sometimes we have to remove old habits or routines that are working against the person we want to become. Whether it’s doom-scrolling, overindulging, or being reactive to life, we all have things pulling us away from the version of ourselves we know is possible.

Here’s a simple challenge: start with just one thing. Let's let go of one thing that’s not helping you, or choose one challenge that moves you closer to the person you want to be. For some, it might be a small change—waking up earlier, drinking more water, or being more intentional with a relationship. Or maybe it’s a leap of faith—changing careers, booking that ticket, or saying yes to something a little wild. Whatever it is, take a step toward it today.

I’ll leave you with one last question: are you proud of who you’re becoming? Are you proud of how you’re treating your body, your relationships, and your time?

Life is short, my friends. Let’s not waste it. Say yes to the invitation of living life to the fullest. We all have the opportunity to Go Live right now.  Let's do something about it while we still have the chance.

It’s time to meet the next version of you.

Simplicity is Strength: The Power of Letting Go

Simplicity is Strength: The Power of Letting Go

We hear it all the time: if you want to succeed, you’ve got to do more, be more, achieve more. But what if that’s not the whole truth? What if real strength isn’t found in adding things to our lives, but in subtracting the unnecessary? I've come to believe that simplicity is the real key to progress. It’s not about doing everything; it’s about focusing on what matters most.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking “more is better.”  We pile on more responsibilities, more goals, more tasks, thinking that will get us ahead. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t always work that way.

We think if we just squeeze more into our day, we’ll magically find success. But all that extra stuff? It can lead to overwhelm, burnout, and a nagging feeling that we’re not doing anything well. The truth is, it’s not about doing more. It’s about doing the right things, and sometimes that means doing less.

There was a study done by a group of researchers at the University of Virginia who observed that people, when given a variety of documents, 3D puzzles and designs and asked to improve them, were significantly more likely to add to whatever they were tasked with.  Very few people looked to make changes that removed distractions, obstacles or complexities. The study concluded that when we as humans go about solving problems, our brains automatically think adding is the way to improve things. But the real change happens when we start subtracting the things that aren’t necessary.  When we focus on what truly matters and clear out the distractions, we free ourselves up to make real forward progress. Less clutter, less noise, less distractions. More room for the things that bring us joy and help us move forward.

What does this actually look like? Remove, Reframe, Refine

Here’s a little tool that’s helped me go through the process of improving through subtraction. Remove, Reframe, and Refine. Think of it as a map to help you clear out the mental and emotional clutter and focus on what really counts.  Ive used this with projects at work, with relationships and even with something as simple as cleaning out my closet.

1. Remove: ASK "Is this really necessary?"

Start by asking yourself, “What can I let go of that’s not helping me?” We all have things, habits, tasks, and even mindsets that we hold onto just because they’ve been around for a while. But are they really serving us?

I think of it like cleaning out a junk drawer. You might find stuff in there you haven’t used in years, but it’s still sitting there taking up space. Life’s the same way—sometimes we’re hanging onto things that don’t have a purpose anymore. Ask yourself: What’s one thing I can remove from my life today that’s not moving me forward?

2. Reframe: ASK "How and why does this move the needle?"

Once you’ve cleared some space, it’s time to reframe how you’re looking at what’s left. Instead of asking, “What more can I do?” ask yourself, “What’s the one thing I can do that will have the biggest impact?”

Think of it like tending a garden. You don’t need to plant 100 different flowers to make it beautiful. Sometimes, just tending to a few well-chosen plants can create the most stunning, peaceful space. The same goes for your life: it’s not about how much you do; it’s about understanding where to focus your energy and understanding why it is important.

3. Refine: ASK "How can I make what’s left even better?"

Now that you’ve let go of the extra stuff and reframed your focus, it’s time to refine. Refining is all about taking what’s left—the things that really matter—and getting better at them. Whether it’s a project, a relationship, or a skill, the more you refine it, the more joy and progress you’ll see.

It’s like polishing a gem. The more you focus on refining the core elements of your life, the clearer and more beautiful they become. And here’s the kicker: the more you refine, the simpler everything feels. You’re getting better, and life’s becoming much more simple all at once.

The beautiful thing about subtracting isn’t that you’re losing anything. You’re gaining clarity. When you let go of the stuff that doesn’t matter, you make space for the things that do. You can breathe a little easier, think a little clearer, and see the opportunities that were hidden behind all that clutter. In my own life, I’ve found that when I stop trying to juggle everything and focus on just a few important things, I see way more progress—and I enjoy the process a lot more, too. It’s not about doing everything. It’s about doing what matters.

Here’s a simple way to use the 3R Model in your life this week:

1. Remove: Look at your to-do list, your routines, and even your mindset. What’s one thing you can let go of today that’s not really helping you move forward?

2. Reframe: Once you’ve removed things that are unnecessary, ask yourself, “How can I simplify my focus? What is one action will make the biggest impact?”

3. Refine: Pick one area of your life that really matters to you—maybe it’s a project, a relationship, or a skill—and spend some time refining it. Pour your energy into making it the best it can be.

Simplicity is your super power, simplicity is your secret strength. When you remove what’s unnecessary, reframe your goals, and refine what matters, you’re not just simplifying your life—you’re amplifying it.

So next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, remember: success isn’t about doing more. It’s about focusing on what really matters and letting go of the rest.

Go Live with purpose, simplicity, and joy my friends!

Making Living a Habit and a Habit of Living

The other day, I found myself at the train station on the way into work, watching the sun rise over the mountains, when it hit me: life is a lot like this sunrise. It doesn’t rush. It doesn’t skip any steps. It just shows up, moment by moment, a little more beautiful every time you notice it. The sun isn’t in a hurry to impress anyone. It’s just doing what it’s always done—showing up faithfully, day after day. And I thought to myself, What if I lived my life like that? What if we all did?

See, we spend so much of our time thinking about the next big thing—what we’re going to do tomorrow, what goals we want to crush next year, or how we’re going to make our dreams come true. But what if the secret isn’t in the big stuff at all? What if the secret is hidden in the tiny, everyday moments? The ones we don’t even notice because we’re too busy rushing past them?

I think life works a lot like that sunrise—it’s a slow, faithful showing up. We want things to change in a flash, but more often than not, real change happens little by little, with the small decisions we make every single day.

Let me tell you a story.

A friend of mine decided he wanted to run a marathon. Now, he wasn’t a runner. In fact, the only thing he ran toward was the ice cream truck when it came through his neighborhood. But one day, something inside him said, I want to do something I’ve never done before. So, he set his sights on the marathon.

Now, you’d think the story ends with him crossing the finish line, right? But that’s not really the point. The real story is in how he got there. It wasn’t the race itself that changed him. It was the habit of getting up every morning and lacing up his shoes. It was in the days he didn’t feel like running but did it anyway. It was the habit that shaped him, long before the marathon ever did.

See, the big stuff—like running a marathon or living a life full of meaning and joy—doesn’t just happen out of nowhere. It’s built in the daily, ordinary stuff. It’s built in the habits we form when no one’s watching, when there’s no crowd cheering us on. We make our habits, and then our habits make us.

I don’t think we realize the power of these little choices we make. But here’s the thing: they add up. Day after day, week after week. You pick up your phone to call a friend, you show up to the hard conversations, you take a moment to breathe when everything feels overwhelming. You make a habit of showing up for life, and before you know it, you’ve built a life worth showing up for.

Here’s what I’ve learned: Living isn’t just something that happens to us; it’s something we decide to do. We can make living a habit. We can choose to be present, to notice the beauty around us, to find joy in the little things. And we can make a habit of doing that, over and over again.

Maybe it’s not about adding more to our lives, but about doing the things we’re already doing with more love, more intentionality, more presence. Maybe it’s about turning the mundane into something meaningful, just by showing up and doing it with our whole hearts.

You don’t need a five-year plan or a vision board to live a meaningful life. You just need to show up today and take care of the people around you. Maybe that means sending a text to someone who needs encouragement. Maybe it means finally forgiving yourself for that thing you can’t seem to let go of. Or maybe it’s just letting yourself breathe a little deeper, and trusting that life is happening, even in the quiet, unseen moments.

So, here’s the challenge: make a habit of living. Not in some grand, sweeping gesture, but in the small, ordinary moments. The ones where you choose love over fear, where you choose grace over guilt, where you choose to show up, even when it’s hard.

The best part? As you make living a habit, you’ll notice something incredible happening. Your life will start to change. Not in a flash or with fireworks, but slowly, steadily, like that sunrise. You’ll wake up one day and realize that the habits you’ve been forming have been forming you all along.

So, lace up your shoes. The marathon might seem far away, but the journey starts today. One small step, one habit at a time. Let’s make a habit of living, and watch as life becomes more beautiful than we ever imagined. Go live my friends!

Living Life on Purpose

Life happens regardless of how intentionally we live.  The difference is; when we live on purpose, we navigate across the ocean of life instead of drifting into the nearest current.

Living life on purpose looks a lot like passion, freedom and clarity.

Living life accidently looks reactive, impulsive, and avoiding anything uncomfortable.

Sometimes life moves quickly, and seasons of life go on for longer than we intended.  It can be years before looking back and realizing how much life has gone by.  These moments of reflection can show us the ways we have grown and changed, but sometimes they can also be milestones we look back and ask, “what if?”  We can look back on the forks in the road and wonder how different our life would be if we had taken that job or made that move or never met that person.  At the time, we made those decisions for a reason, or some outside circumstances made the decision for us.  But when too many moments go by where it was just the next natural step or it was the comfortable and logical decision… well, sometimes we end up living a very different life than we once imagined.  Maybe things are great, and everything worked out to be sunshine and rainbows, or maybe things have landed in a pretty dark place and it seems like there has been a rain cloud stalking you for a while now.  I think for most people, its somewhere in between.  There are things in life that worked out really well and other things that we wish were different.

Some things happen as a direct result of the decisions we make, and other things happen outside of our control.  Some people are planners and have all that can be controlled in life lined up and scheduled to the best of their ability, they have the 3, 5 and 10-year plan all mapped out.  On the other hand, we have the free spirits, the go with the flow fellows who follow the direction of the wind and make the most of whatever is around them. But living a life on purpose is a little less about personality traits and a lot more about being intentional about what you want your life to be about.  Do you know the things that are important to you? Do your actions align with the things you want your life to be about? Do you invest your time strategically? Are you growing where your feet are?

I think living life on purpose can be broken down into a few specific actions:

1.     Define your values

2.     Make value based decisions

3.     Invest time strategically

4.     Grow your roots

Defining your values is where it all starts.  Your values set the direction of your life and if you don’t know what is important and what is most important, you are like a ship with no heading.  What do you want most? Why do you want that in your life? What does that answer tell you about what is most important to your heart?  Define your values and be strategic in what words you use. When you can put on paper the things you want your life to be described by, you have put in the work for step 1.

Make value-based decisions.  Prioritize your values and what those things tangibly look like.  Some values may be centered around family, others around your skills and others around different interests and passions you have. What takes the priority? Make these decisions when you have some time to find a park bench and have a clear mind.  That way when things come up and life gets a little crazy, you can walk out a decision you have already made. You aren’t thinking and trying to prioritize in the moment.  Impulse can talk you out of a value if you do not have a decided heart.  Also take a serious look at how you spend your time and make sure you have a little time set aside every day to live out a habit that coincides with each of your values.  Make sure your time and your values are in alignment or you will live a life full of internal conflict.

Invest your time strategically. Your time is so limited, and it is crazy to spend your time without much thought or intention. Use the resource of time just like you would be investing for retirement or saving for a big goal.  Spend it on things that will give you a return and stay away from the things that will leave you in the negative with little to show for it.  Find high return activities.  Things that you finish doing and are so glad that you did. Things you are proud you spent the time to do!  This is anything from investing time to learn something new, to some time spent having a meaningful conversation with a friend over coffee. This is stepping out to reconnect with someone you lost contact with and doing the thing that you have needed to do for a few weeks now but have been putting off. Eliminate things that have zero return on investment or worse have a negative output in your life.  When we continue to do things that put us in a funk or make us feel terrible, we are literally trading the most valuable resource we have been given, to spend more time dealing with negative repercussions on that bad investment. Get out of the cycle, break the addiction, make different choices and get some help if you need to. Life is too short not to!

Lastly plant some roots. I have lived in 3 states over the past 4 years, worked with a lot of different people, been a part of quite a few communities and one thing I have found to be true is, when you wait to grow roots it hurts you the most.  I think there are a lot of people in the world right now asking the questions “is this where I am supposed to be?”, “what am I am meant to be doing?”  “What is my calling/passion/purpose?”. These are good questions to ask, but when we ask these questions non-stop in our mind, we always stay half invested in the present leaving us with glazed eyes and distanced from the people, opportunities, and moments in front of us.  If only for today, you are where you are supposed to be.  Maybe it IS time for a change, but for today stay invested.  Until your time is up, you are where you are supposed to be; and if you are there today, your time isn’t up.  So lean in, and give some purpose and conviction to the things in front of you. Invest in the things next under your feet and grow some roots… if only for today!

The choice is yours and mine on what we do now. If we set the day to autopilot, or if we remember our values and find ways to bring those things into action.  We can stay comfortable on our heels in the background or we can take the next step in life we are constantly invited into.  At the end of our life, I think we will care much more about how we lived than what we lived.  We will care more about how we treated and cared for the people around us more than the names of the people around us. Today is the day. Go Live!

Closing the Gap Between Belief and Action

Complacency kills too many dreams.

The fastest way to get complacent is to learn and do nothing about it.  If you know better do better. 9 times out of 10, this is easier said than done. After all, Newton was right in so many ways when he found that objects at rest want to remain at rest and when it comes to people and life; when we feel stuck, it can seem impossible to get un-stuck.

The opposite of complacency is growth, and while I believe complacency comes from learning and doing nothing about it. I believe true growth comes from closing the gap between what you know and what you do.  The smaller the space between belief and action, and the more momentum and growth you will have in your life.

The thing is, when you learn new information, your mind is forced to put it through 3 filters:

1.     Belief

2.     Understanding

3.     Navigating Barriers

When you go through all three, you move forward. However, anywhere along the way, you may get caught up limiting the action you take.

If you believe it, you understand what you need to do about it, and you can navigate the obstacles to make it happen, you will change. You will grow. You will move forward. If you don’t truly believe it, game over. If you believe it, but don’t understand what to do about it, game over. If you believe it and know what to do about it, but don’t know how to navigate the obstacle… game over.

You need all three for real and lasting change!

I overheard a question asked the other day: “If you could put on a magic sweater that gave you a gift, what would it be and how would you use it to help others?”

My answer would be: To never forget what I learn and share those lessons with the people around me.

Sometimes I find myself having to relearn things I thought I had already grown through. Other times, I find myself looking up to the person I used to be because I respect the actions I use to take more than the actions I am currently taking. This all comes down to one simple thing: The space between what we believe and the action we take. The bigger the gap between belief and action, the more stuck we are.  The smaller the gap, the greater the momentum we feel in our life.

I think our society identifies this as passion most of the time. We see a young person who learns about an injustice in the world around us, drops everything, moves across the country, sacrifices everything they own for a specific cause just weeks after really diving into it. We say, WOW!!! They are so passionate about _____.  There is a respect there, because despite the cause, they put their money where their mouth is.  They eliminated any space between what they believe and what they did.  Those things became indistinguishable. They live the cause, they identify as the cause, and they can’t sleep without doing something because of it!

PASSION.

Normally maturity is mistaken for the median. We see maturity as an even state of being. A stable and sedentary attitude that is never over the barrier between passion and abandon.  It’s okay to show passion as long as it doesn’t go too far. It’s okay to believe in something as long as it doesn’t demand drastic action; that would be reckless! There is a pressure to find the edge of authentic freedom and live just within it, so that we can keep the respect of our piers without making them too uncomfortable.  The only problem is that the space of comfort is the gap between what we believe, or want to believe and what we are willing to act on.

SO… The big question becomes what do we do? What does this mean? How can I grow in a healthy way that doesn’t uproot everything in my life?

Reverse engineer the 3 filters our mind puts new information through.

1.     Desire/Belief. What do you really believe?  Are you willing to own it? Are you willing to think through it, talk through it and go through the process of understanding not only what you believe. But how you believe it and why you believe it?

 2.     Understanding. Do you understand what to do? Like do you really know how to put it in practice? Do you know what tools you need to develop and how to develop those tools to support what you know?

 3.     Navigating Barriers. Some of these barriers are real and some of them are excuses.  Do the work and trash the excuses. And for the real barriers that remain, it’s time to take one next step. If one step seems too big right now, take a shuffle.

 Order matters with this. Start with your desire/belief and make sure what you want to move forward with you truly believe in. Next work through what you need to understand to move yourself forward and when those two things have been done, look at what your next step is to overcome any obstacles in your way.

 In coaching, this is my same philosophy: When someone is not making a correction, it is one of three reasons:

1. They don’t believe the correction will help or they don’t want to make the change for another reason such as fear.

2. They don’t understand the correction or how to apply the change.

3. They are physically unable to do what I am asking in which case it is time to take a step back and give them the tools to be stronger more flexible, etc.

Knowledge is sight to your path and when you act on that knowledge you give yourself forward momentum.

Don’t lie to yourself though, if you don’t truly believe it or want to change, own it! If you don’t understand it, own it! And if there is an obstacle you are unwilling to face right now, own that also!  When you are willing to own it, you are also limiting the space between what you believe and what you do.

The crazy reality is, there never is space between what you believe and what you do. Only between what you say you believe and what you do. So, look at your actions and measure them against your words. Find the space and do the work on 1. Desire & Belief 2. Understanding 3. Navigating Barriers.

Show me what you do, and I will tell you what you believe. You don’t believe the exercise is that important. You don’t believe the unforgiveness is a bigger burden to you. You don’t believe the alcohol is killing you. You don’t believe it is worth the trouble of that hard conversation.

You think it is all okay… but you have forgotten that time is short my friend. Tomorrow is not guaranteed and the moments we have today are the most precious we have, because they are the moments we can do something about.

Close the gap. Go Live

The Power of Resiliency

Resiliency tends to be an underrated opportunity to build confidence and happiness.

Resiliency builds confidence, a confidence that you can not only survive the challenges in front of you, but that you can come out better because of it. Opposition doesn’t intimidate resilient people, it energizes them. They know that they will come out from this challenge with a new set of skills and that their current skill set will be sharper because of it.

Resiliency builds happiness, a happiness that isn’t fragile. A calm, warm joy that comes from knowing that life is a blessing regardless of circumstances and any obstacle that arises is simply an opportunity to see the world in a new way.  This happiness also comes from a place of security, because whatever unknowns come their way doesn’t determine if they are going to be okay. They have already decided they will make it through, and nothing will be insurmountable.  They already know how the story ends; they know they make it through.  It is not an IF in their mind, simply a HOW they make it through that is unknown.

Experience with bigger problems make small problems look trivial and bite sized. Those who have never experienced bigger problems view trivial problems as a really big deal and get overwhelmed easily. Resilient people see obstacles as an opportunity and have confidence that they will overcome anything that comes their way.

Resiliency keeps perspective. There are a lot of “tough” people that lack resiliency. Toughness is the ability to withstand opposition. Resiliency is the ability to navigate it. Toughness locks down, resiliency moves through. Toughness wrestles opposition, resiliency dances with it. Resiliency is a mindset that is nimble. It dodges, negotiates, adapts and decides. Resilient people don’t freeze when life gets inconvenient. They take a breath, are curious, look beyond the surface of the situation, and tactfully move forward.

People with low resiliency have a victim mentality. They struggle to take ownership and are quick to assume people are against them or claim its their “bad luck”. They struggle to see opportunities whenever plans change or something falls apart. It is challenging for people with low resilience to listen to others’ challenges, because if their challenges are greater than their own, it makes them feel insecure. It is easier for them to avoid it altogether.

So… How do we build resiliency?

1.      Get outside your comfort zone!

You must push beyond what makes you feel safe to have the opportunity to overcome greater things. Climb the hill today so you can climb the mountain tomorrow. If you turn around when things go beyond what you’ve handled in the past, you have stayed in your comfort zone.  When you see or are given an opportunity and your reaction is “I can’t do that because I’ve never done it before.” or “I hope they don’t ask me to do that because I may mess up”, your fear is keeping you inside your comfort zone. Resiliency is strengthened in the garden of growth outside the comfort zone.

2.     Skip the comforts!

It doesn’t have to be every comfort, but if you live to make life as easy as possible, you are actively working against building your resilience.  You don’t have to go straight to sleeping on the floor, waking up at 3am and only cold showers just for the sake of it being uncomfortable.  But maybe it is skipping the comforts of hitting the snooze button, having a drink at the end of every long day, or the comfort of making the decision to make your bed based on how you feel that day. Maybe it’s skipping the comfort of TV time when you know you should put on your running shoes and getting outside or skipping the comfort of Uber eats to cook a quality dinner.

When you are willing to build resiliency by stepping over small challenges daily, you are already building the habit of overcoming challenges that are unexpected. Your reaction will be to adapt and overcome.

3.     Build Perspective!

Do you have any reminders of the things that made you who you are? Or any reminders of your values and what you stand for? Sometimes we slip when we lose intention in our days and let life happen to us. The more reactive we are, the weaker our resiliency muscle gets.  When we have reminders in our life through notes, friends, leaders, or faith, it gives us a correct widow to view the world.

If you want to stay who you have always been and value comfort over growth, maybe resilience isn’t something to work on. But the happiness and confidence that comes from a resilient mindset changes the way you take on life and unlocks so many layers of opportunity and growth that have the ability to change the trajectory of your life.  Resilient people are enjoyable to be around because they do things others are not willing to do. Nothing is too big of a deal, so they are rarely stressed about things no one will remember a few days from now.

Dare to do things you haven’t done. You are stronger than you think and have some incredible opportunities already in front of you. Don’t believe any doubts that say “you don’t have what it takes” and that “you’ll never change”. Those are lies that don’t deserve your attention. Take one step today and one more tomorrow. Go live my friends!

Oh Happiness

To “go live” is to be in active pursuit of living. Not simply existing or surviving, not going through the motion’s day in and day out, but to live with purpose and passion in a world bursting with optimism, joy and opportunity.

One of my favorite questions to ask people is “What’s the dream?” and one of the most common answers I’ve heard recently is “I want to be happy” which is beautiful answer and not necessarily a direct indication that they are currently unhappy. However, I think it is an incomplete answer and one that is pretty complex to unpack, especially for it being such a seemingly simple and innocent answer… Let me explain.

I believe that being happy is a choice. It’s a decision that regardless of the circumstances today brings, I am going to choose to hold onto the things that bring me a deep sense of joy and gratitude. I am going to hold those things above the circumstances of the day regardless of the people around me, and approach each moment with that outlook. Easier said than done right! I don’t believe everyone has to be happy though. We live in a gnarly world, and there are some terrible things that happen. I don’t think everyone has to be happy all the time and when there are terrible things that happen, there are times it’s not appropriate or even natural to be happy. There is a time to be sad, that is real. It doesn’t take away your choice though. You can always choose to be happy and in my experience, that seems to be the direction that leads to the best days.

So, if happiness is more of a decision thing, maybe it is more about discipline and less about the typical happy thoughts of rainbows, sunshine and vanilla lattes. When most people say their dream is to be happy, I don’t think they are dreaming about a soft experience where their every need is catered to, there is no adversity, minimal effort and endless comfort that required zero growth. The happiness they are expressing is one of fulfillment and a deeper experience in the world around them. The funny conundrum is that those things typically come from overcoming challenges, hard work and discipline. The part that can be confusing and unsettling to live out, is when we are chasing the end feeling while avoiding the journey of the experience that leads us there. All of us have the opportunity of experiencing adversity, overcoming challenges and practicing discipline every day. It’s easy to avoid them in the pursuit of happiness, unknowingly skipping over the path that, while challenging, leads to the happiness we desire most. So, as we read this on an ordinary day of the week, what does this mean to experience an extraordinary happiness that comes from discipline?

1. We can choose to pursue happiness. It may be more natural on the days you wake up to a sunny morning and a text that makes you smile as you go drink a great cup of coffee out of your favorite mug and more challenging on the days we spill that coffee on our favorite shirt. The opportunity is present nevertheless. It’s the intention that leads the charge in progress. Being intentional about letting things go a little quicker, choosing to be the one who says hello first in the elevator or give a compliment when it isn’t necessary. Not because it is easy or natural, but because you made a decision to be happy today and that is something you do when you are happy.

2. We can recognize that discipline is a beautiful thing. In concept, most people like the idea of being disciplined in one way or another. In practice it isn’t quite as romantic… Discipline is saying yes to what you want in the future even though it doesn’t feel like what you want in the moment. Discipline is the kindest thing you can do for your future self. It truly is an act of love to yourself you get to unwrap another day. When we change the way we see discipline and decide that happiness is an important part of who we are becoming, making the decision to be happy is something that pays dividends long term in so many ways.

3. A perspective shift is just a little gratitude away. When we feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day and we wish things were different in the immediate world around us, sometimes it means that we just need a perspective shift. We should all be in the business of getting bigger problems. We live in an imperfect world and there are as many problems around as we are willing to look for. That’s why businesses exist… someone saw a problem and tried to solve it. People started getting sick and someone though of a place with people who had the tools to help make people better. Boom! the invention of the hospital. But just because there are problems all around us, doesn’t mean we have to be weighed down by all the issues of the world we live in. If we are lucky enough to still be alive, well… that is exciting! If you have loved ones around who are healthy, you’ve hit the lottery!!! The reality is, life is short and there are a lot of crazy things that happen in the world, and at the end of the day we have it pretty freakin great even if there are things that hurt and we wish would change. I don’t want to dismiss the hard things in life that people are going through, that stuff is real. But something else that is real is the fact that we have the opportunity to put more focus and gratitude on the things we DO have that will lead to a deeper sense of joy.

Maybe it’s time for a little more happiness in life. Don’t forget that you are unique in so many ways, and a happy you is a great gift to the world and the people around you. A genuine smile is a powerful force, and a life that is lived fully alive is one that can send ripples of inspiration that always seem to have a way of coming back around on the days we need them most. Go live and be happy my friends.

Be Alive Wherever Your Feet Are

Life is too short to have your feet in two places at the same time and too long to keep your feet in the same place for all of it.  We should strive to be progressively present; meaning, we are completely present where we are as we move forward through life. How often do we hear, “I don’t know where the time has gone!” or “life is a whirlwind right now.”? When our focus is on progress and moving forward, it is easy to miss the small things along the path that make the journey worth it. On the other hand, if we sit down and stop traveling along our path, even with all the appreciation in the world for the things around us, we will never receive the gift of experiencing the little wonders the rest of the journey has for us. It is the habit of being where our feet are while keeping our eyes on the road ahead.

So the big question is, how do we make sure we don’t miss this life that is passing by right in front of our eyes?

1. Triangulate

   I grew up on the coast in Florida and loved surfing any opportunity I had in High-school. The first time I ever went surfing was with a buddy who had extra board and most of the time was spent paddling around, somehow always seemingly to be in the wrong place to catch a wave. I would see a nice wave and immediately paddle over to where it just crashed just in time to turn around and see another big wave in a different spot. Most of the day I felt like I was just chasing waves, and while others seemed to effortlessly be in the right place at the right time, I was exhausted and only getting lucky with a few sub-par waves. The second time I went surfing was with a mentor who had been surfing for years and after paddling out, one of the first things he said to me was “you need to learn how to triangulate. Find your surf break, then find a reference point so you can make sure you are not drifting.” he pointed out a blue umbrella on the beach and the 3rd notch in the pier’s railing. The blue umbrella was my latitude reference point and the notch in the railing was my longitude reference point. When I caught a wave, I knew the exact spot to paddle back out too. I had a couple things outside of myself that gave me feedback if I was drifting. If got distracted somewhere along the way and ended up outside the break, I now knew how to get back on track. I wasn’t having to guess if it was the right spot and I wasn’t chasing after a new spot when I saw someone else catch a good wave.

   When we find reference points in life, we are able to get back to the place we need to be. For some of us it is a true friend who is able to see right through us. For others, it shows up in other areas of life like exercising, reading, or something as small as making our bed. If we are in a healthy place those things are happening, but when we start to notice them being compromised, it is our warning sign that we have drifted a little bit are not putting ourself in the place to catch the wave.

2. Appreciate the little things:

   Another way we can become more present is being thankful for what is right in front of our face. It brings the present into focus. It is impossible to be truly thankful for something in front of you, if you are checked out or living with your mind in the past or the future. It’s no secret that there is power in generosity and appreciation. When we appreciate something or someone, we are more likely to be generous with our time, assumptions, and attention. In doing so, what we are giving ourselves too, become more rewarding for us as well.

   My wife and I have a puppy who loves attention. If I am sitting on the sofa next to our little Italian Greyhound and I am on my phone ignoring her, she will either come lay down on top of my arms or paw the phone right out of my hand. If I set the phone down and give her a few minutes of attention, she obviously loves it, but its a rewarding experience for me as well. If I continue to ignore her, normally she reverts to chewing on something she isn’t supposed to, as a more desperate form of looking for attention. This is an over simplified example, but people know when they are a priority and when we are just being given lip service. One interaction at a time, we either strengthen the relationship and build trust, or we push them away and continue to drift further out of the present.

3. Living All In:

   I don’t believe there is a lack of desire to be successful, happy, fulfilled… fill in the blank of whatever you want most. However, I do think sometimes there is a lack of belief that it is the right thing. Let me explain; anything meaningful in life requires sacrifice and normally the bigger the goal or ambition, the bigger the sacrifice. Sacrifices can be small, but they are the comforts of our everyday life. The ambition of going back to school, but the sacrifice of your time and money. The ambition of going after that fitness goal, but the sacrifice of being sore, putting your body in challenging situations and having to prioritize nutrition and recovery. If you have complete conviction about your goal, it makes even the hardest sacrifices easier, but if we have an ounce of doubt, the things we give up are much harder. I think most of us have some sort of reservation about if what we are in pursuit of is worth all the sacrifice or only when we are motivated. If we are only partially invested, we can keep some of the comforts and sacrifice when it is convenient. That way, in the end, if we fall short of the goal or worse, we achieve it and it isn’t what we hoped it would be, at least we didn’t give up all our creature comforts along the way. This thinking is the highway to mediocrity. It is the definition of average and normal. But nothing great in life was achieved through convenience, comfort, and only doing things when we want to. Maybe it is worth taking some time to really think about what we believe in and what is worth it in the end and then move forward being all in on those things. What we chose to dedicate our time to is important, but it could be even more important to be see that how we chose to interact with the things we say are important shape who we are. Living all in become the moments that make you feel alive, and even if you do fail or fall short, you know you didn’t say yes to the catastrophe of living half alive.

Life is too short to have your feet in two places and too long to keep your feet in the same place for all of it.  Triangulate to be where the waves are crashing, appreciate the little things in front of your face and go live a life that is all in.

It is a gift to be alive! Live well my friends.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

It's a fun question to ask kids because you never know what answer you're going to get... a dinosaur, princess, football player, mom, dog, etc.  The list goes on and on of all kinds of answers we have heard in response to the timeless question.  One of the best thing about kids is scientific boundaries don't exist yet, anything is possible for them, even being a dog.  For them, a dog may truly be what they want to be when they grow up because they see their dog as: happy, loved, excited about life, and fun to be around.  What more can a kid want in life right!?!  Subconsciously they are telling us WHO they want to be.  The meaning behind the answers is more meaningful than the answers themselves.  The underlying WHO is greater than the irrelevant WHAT.   When kids say they want to be a dog when they grow up, I don't think they are trying to pursue WHAT life as a dog looks like; running around on all fours, barking at the mail-man, and drinking water out of a toilet.  

Do we see people for WHAT they are or for WHO they are?  It's hard sometimes to look past the messy fur, smelly dog breath and "dirty paws of life" so-to-speak to see someone with a caring heart that wants to encourage, inspire, or comfort.

Some of WHAT we are, we can control.  Other things are given to us genetically or situationally.  So if we shift our focus onto WHO we are, our identity is secure, regardless of the situation. This is where the real difference is.  The WHAT's in life can change in an instant.  Health, Wealth, Job, Title, fill in the blank.... But WHO we are is stronger than the circumstances of life.  Like they say... life is 10% WHAT happens to you and 90% WHO you are because of it.

WHO we choose to be will naturally lead our actions toward WHAT we do.  However, WHAT we want to be is not strong enough to support the weight of the identity of WHO we are.

So... WHO do you want to be?

Every Adventure Starts With a Single Step

And here is my first step...

January 6th, 2014 I posted a picture on Instagram with the caption "It's never too late to be what you might have been. #golive" This was the start of The Go Live Project.  I didn't know it at the time, but the birth of a movement and a lifestyle was born that day, the mindset to make the most of every single day and not to simply live, but to GO LIVE.

The Go Live Project is my "First Step" into an adventure that leads to places I do not know... After all, If you knew everything that was going to happen, it wouldn't be an adventure at all.  The dream, and motivation behind starting this project is to inspire action.  Not to simply settle with wherever you currently exist, but to find those things in life that mean the most to you and pursue them.  I recently told a friend about the vision for The Go Live Project, and they asked me "What are you doing about it?" You see... I had done a lot of thinking, but no doing.  I had done lots of dreaming, and for quite some time, but had yet to take my first step.  5 days later, The Go Live Project now has a Website, Instagram and Facebook all with the hopes of inspiring and motivating a community of people who are not content with existing, but are ready to go and live. This was my first step, what will yours be?